What Your Sex Worker Friend Wants You To Stop Doing

It’s not about what you think you know. It’s about what your friend actually needs from you. If you have a friend who works in sex work-whether they do erotic massage in Dubai, offer tantra massage, or take private clients in Dubai-they don’t need your pity, your advice, or your silent discomfort. They need you to stop doing the things that make them feel invisible, dangerous, or less than human.

Maybe you’ve heard about erotic massage in Dubai and assumed it’s all glamour and money. Maybe you’ve seen ads for tantra massage and thought it was just another luxury service. Or maybe you’ve heard someone say "private massage Dubai" and immediately pictured something sleazy. Those assumptions? They’re not harmless. They’re the same ones that make your friend feel like they have to hide parts of themselves just to be around you.

Stop Asking If They’re "Safe"

"Are you safe?" is the question people ask like it’s a compliment. Like they’re being thoughtful. But it’s not. It’s a loaded question that assumes sex work is inherently dangerous-and that your friend is somehow naive for doing it. They’re not. Most sex workers know their risks better than anyone. They screen clients, use safety apps, set hard boundaries, and know when to walk away. What they don’t need is you acting like they’re walking into a horror movie every time they leave the house.

Instead of asking if they’re safe, ask if they had a good day. Ask if they ate. Ask if they need anything. That’s how you show care without making them feel like a statistic.

Stop Treating Them Like a Project

You don’t get to rescue them. They didn’t get trapped. They didn’t fall into this by accident. Many sex workers choose this work because it pays better than their other options. It gives them control over their time, their body, and their income. Some use it to pay for school. Others use it to support family back home. A few just like the freedom it gives them.

When you say things like "I wish you’d get a real job," you’re not helping. You’re telling them their choice doesn’t matter. That their autonomy isn’t valid. That their dignity is conditional on you approving of their work.

Stop Making Assumptions About Their Clients

You think all clients are creeps? That’s not true. Some are lonely men who just want to talk. Some are couples exploring intimacy. Some are people recovering from trauma who need non-sexual touch. Some are just regular folks who pay for a service like you’d pay for a haircut or a massage.

When you assume every client is predatory, you’re not protecting your friend. You’re erasing their agency. You’re saying they can’t tell the difference between a good client and a bad one. And that’s condescending.

Stop Avoiding Them in Public

Have you ever seen your friend in public and suddenly remembered you had to rush to the bathroom? Or changed the subject when they mentioned where they work? That’s not subtle. That’s shame.

Sex workers are not contagious. Their work is not a moral stain. If you act like you’re embarrassed to be seen with them, you’re sending the message that their life is something to hide. That’s worse than any insult. It’s isolation dressed up as politeness.

Stop Using Their Work as a Punchline

"Oh, your friend does private massage Dubai? That’s wild!" That’s not funny. That’s dehumanizing. Jokes about sex work might seem harmless in a group chat, but they reinforce the idea that this line of work is ridiculous, shameful, or laughable. Your friend hears those jokes. And they know you’re in the room when they’re made.

Would you laugh at someone’s job as a nurse, a teacher, or a construction worker? No. Because you know those jobs matter. So does theirs.

Stop Withholding Emotional Support

Your friend has bad days. They get stressed. They get scared. They get lonely. They get judged by strangers on the street. They get ignored by family. They get told they’re "not real women" or "not real men." And when they come to you for comfort, you change the subject because you don’t know how to respond.

That silence? It hurts more than any insult. You don’t need to understand their job to be there for them. You just need to listen. Say "That sounds really hard." Say "I’m here." Say nothing at all, and just sit with them.

Stop Thinking They Owe You an Explanation

You don’t get to ask why they do it. You don’t get to ask how much they make. You don’t get to ask if they’ve ever been arrested. You don’t get to ask if they’ve ever been hurt. Those aren’t conversation starters. They’re violations.

Your friend doesn’t owe you transparency. They owe you nothing except the basic respect you’d give any other person. If they want to share, they will. If they don’t, that’s their right.

Stop Acting Like They’re Not Real People

This is the big one. Sex workers are not tropes. They’re not victims. They’re not villains. They’re not "the other." They’re your friend. They have favorite foods. They hate Mondays. They binge-watch shows. They cry over dogs. They have dreams. They have fears. They have families. They have histories. They have futures.

When you reduce them to their job, you erase everything else. And that’s the most dangerous thing you can do.

What You Can Do Instead

• Believe them when they say they’re okay.
• Don’t bring up their work unless they do.
• Treat them like you treat everyone else you care about.
• Call out stigma when you hear it-even if it’s from your own family.
• Support organizations that protect sex workers’ rights.
• Learn the difference between exploitation and consent.

Sex work isn’t a phase. It’s not a sin. It’s not a tragedy. It’s work. And your friend deserves to be treated like a person who does work-not like a problem you need to fix.